The “Emergencier” in Road Ranger

The drive my mother and I were on was taking forever.  After passing a horrible accident and getting over my anxiety of running out of gas in front of the honking semi behind us, traffic cleared and we took a pit stop at a Road Ranger.  It is the only gas station I know that has a McDonald’s attached to it.  Either way, I booked it for the bathroom.

I walk in and there are two stalls.  I have always had this fear of entering the first stall.  If someone has to up-chuck or god knows what else, it is brutal to find the stalls that are open.  I usually like to be courteous and leave the first stall for the “emergenciers.”

Anyway, my fear was confirmed.  The first stall in this Road Ranger was clearly used for emergencies.  It had been sprayed all over.  I usually do good deeds and will clean it but boy it had been quite the car ride.  I go to the next stall over.  Not one minute later, a woman comes click, clacking in her heels.  She bolts into the first stall.

“That sucks,” I think to myself.

But then I watch her feet.  She faced the toilet, (always a bad sign).  She cleaned it and when she sat down, she sighed and what sounded like a giant, hot air balloon blew out into the toilet.

“Oops.  That slipped out,” I think to myself. “That happens.”

…it happens again.  But this time with a spray afterwards.  The poor thing is probably mortified but then again I’m being polite by not acknowledging it…out loud.  Here I am, sitting in the stall, all of a sudden I become a professional mime.  There is a new hand movement and flail of my arms for each new noise that sneaks, or more accurately terrorizes, its way into my stall.

I quickly finished and dove at the sink.  Fearful to breathe, a symphony of bodily noises continue coming from the first stall.

The emergency stall.

At this rate I feel horrible for this woman.  She has got to be mortified.  I turn the sink on full blast and instead of using paper towels, I use the hand air dryer.  Everyone can relate when I say that we secretly think to ourselves, “please, God let her use the hand dryer…hurry up!” If you can’t relate then you are lying to yourself.

I turned the dryer on as fast as I could in hopes the woman would recognize that I can understand where she is coming from. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all dread public bathrooms.  So I vouch for everyone to pay it forward by using the air dryers and loud sinks as much as possible when there is an ounce of crisis in the public bathrooms.

I can live with the fact that I was that poor woman’s saving grace that day.